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By sickofwastingtime - Wednesday, May 23, 2007
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Does anyone know of any help available. If I was on drugs or an alcoholic I'm sure I'd be able to simply find help - but I'm simply hooked on pornography and MUST put an end to it. I've tried online help but I realise I need one-on-one help either on the phone or in person. But it's not the kind of thing I'm comfortable talking to a GP about...! One thing is for sure, if I don't stop this I'll stop bringing in an income for the family! It's just so difficult to stop...!!
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By sickofwastingtime - Wednesday, May 23, 2007
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Oh, I should add any ideas must be free of charge because I simply have no money nor are bringing any in... that's how bad things have become!
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By Michael - Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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I'm really not an expert in this area at all but your post got me wondering. Porn addiction is like any other addiction. Maybe there are some strategies available for dealing with this in a similar way to other addictions.
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By mitch1 - Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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I am no expert on this either, but I know this is an increasingly common addiction, and one that a lot of relationship counsellors would have had some experience of. Have you tried looking for counselling services in the database on this site? Some of them are free. I would suggest that you need to start looking at the emotional basis for this compulsion. What feelings does it bring to the surface when you don't use the porn? Compulsions like this are usually a way to avoid some painful emotion.
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By Bolero11 - Tuesday, June 12, 2007
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Does your wife know about it? maybe if you shared it with her this might de-power its fantasy and its hold on you if you feel like it is something you are doing that is daring and naughty. I know its not as simple as that, but why do you suppose your so enthralled by Porn?. Maybe thats worth voicing here to.
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By Anonymous - Friday, July 06, 2007
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You could try several things if struggling to find a counsellor. Firstly Patrick Carnes (the most noted pioneer/expert in this area) has written extensivly on it ant you can get his books on amazon and a dvd course from his site . help.com (ithink?) You could also try The addiction workbook by New Harbinger Press (ISBN 1-57224-376-7). This is quite cheap and very helpful if alone. Furthermore, blocking software is helpful if internet based. Cybersitter is good, requires just a one off payment, and can have daily reports sent to an accountability partner so theres no dark secrets - anonimity is one of the largest problems here. Finally, it has been noted by many addicts that this is the hardest addiction to break as your uality is carried with you and ographic images are remembered for years after being viewed so help is best is possible but usually very expensive due to its specialization. Other than that look for SAA or SLAA groups on the internet to get a local one - these are Aholics Ananymous and and love Addicts Anonymous - 12 step approaches. Hope this helps.
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By working_it_out - Tuesday, July 17, 2007
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I've had this problem as well. It's the second major addiction that I've had to overcome in my life. I've found that the best way for me to to deal has been to:
- communicate honestly about the problem with my partner and friends so she/they help me feel less isolated
- set some difficult but filfilling life goals that will be hard to reach without doing lots of work... I've found there is no real way to "confront" and solve the problem, but if I occupy myself with other activities that are rewarding in a different way, this really doesn't give me any time to be naughty.
This seems to be working for me, but I must admit that I still think about it a lot at this stage. That has been dwindling though. I think its a kind of skill, finding your own locus of control...
Hope this helps dude.
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By Anonymous - Wednesday, July 18, 2007
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I felt that I was inthe same situation as you a few years ago. What I was doing was escping into a world where I was able to get away from the life that I had. A fantasy world. You need to look hard at the life you have and what you are NOT getting in your life. It may be something as simple as a little acknowledgement from your wife / partner - are you bored with your life, partner - I strongly suggest you talk to a counsellor and identify what you want - a fantasy life or a real life.
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By Simon P - Monday, July 23, 2007
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I am sure that several of the religious groups would have help for this such as the Salvo's etc. At least they are a starting point.
Have you tried calling the Mens help line and talking to a counsellor?
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By Bushman - Wednesday, July 25, 2007
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Hi there,
I have got the same dilema addicted to porn/sex and haveing problems finding someone to help me get over it..
I am so glad to know that I am not the only one to be in this situation and not being being able to work, I agree that to some degree that it's mind over matter and even saying that it's hard to deal with.
Best of luck
mike
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By Anonymous - Saturday, October 06, 2007
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Our Website (www.sexaddiction.com.au) can help you if you suffer with sex addiction. It's a directory of sex therapists and churches who offer programs to regain your life again. We offer also a forum for all people who are interested in the fight against porn in our society or are involved in some way.
All the best Joe P.
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By arelkay - Tuesday, April 29, 2008
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I have, by the grace of God, been delivered from an addiction to pornography that spanned more than 25 years. I didn’t have a strategy, not to mention the desire, to overcome my addiction for the majority of this time. Sadly, most of the years that I was in my addiction I did not want to be free from it. The reasons for this were many, but I believe that it was primarily because I was not yet a Christian. I was “in the world” and “of the world.” I did not want to hear or understand the truth. I wanted to live in darkness.
John 3:20-21 says, “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”
It wasn’t until I was saved, that the Holy Spirit convicted me that my behavior was sinful and needed to be stopped. This, however, also took some time. Once I came into the light I realized that I needed to develop both short and long-term strategies in order to stand firm against the enemy. The best way to overcome your addiction is to be accountable to someone and this happens with fellowship with believers. Another way is pray and invoke the name of Jesus when you feel temptation. I was a smoker for 30 years and stopped with no aids also once I was convicted by the Holly Spirit.
Praise be to God
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By Anonymous - Thursday, May 29, 2008
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i have the same problem
it looks like there is a lot of us out there
i went to the gp it was a hard thing to do so he sent me to a sicietrest ththeyry to open the avavenusf wy we do this and i was going for free
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By Anonymous - Thursday, May 29, 2008
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Porn Addiction.
Thanks for your courage to post this subject.
Bear with me please.
Some evidence of an addiction are:
1) Obsessive thinking,
2) Compulsive behaviour ,
3) Done in secret,
4) It escalates as the years go by,
5) I the addict need more and more of a "hit" to get my payoff.
Here in Melbourne (sorry don't know where you live ) there are three 12 Step Programs that help men with porn addiction. Yes , I have been to their meetings.
There is SA - Sexaholics Anonymous,
There is SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous,
and there is
SAA - Sex Addicts Anonymous.
Each of these three groups were formed by a man who got sober in AA in North America, and then discovered that they had an underlying obsessive/compulsive disorder : lust and sex.
I have been to all three meetings, and find that there are subtle differences in each.
Speaking for myself I have found SA works best for me. Its not perfect but its helped me change my life.
Now, there are some men who travel over an hour to get to a meeting. Why ?
Well they, like myself, discover they are powerless to stop the compulsive behaviour by themselves. They find that by asking for help that they can.
Some men want to get "well" in secret, I have found.
Should that be your situation then here are some resources that might be of help:
1) There is a web site in the USA called www.recoverynation.com. The chap who started it is himself someone with our OCD who has learned to stop. He has a structured question and answer program. You might find it helpful to use his resources. I know it helped me for a while.
There is significant literature on the subject of porn ( as well as other sexual addiction ) addiction.
Patrick Carnes wrote a book in 1988 called "Out of the Shadows", which describes our condition. Myself, and the men I have Sponsored in my SA fellowship have found it helpful.
More importantly his workbook, "Facing the Shadow" is worth buying and working through.
Finally, I want you to know that its possible to STOP. There is HOPE. When I showed up to my first 12 Step Meeting for sexual addiction five years ago I didn't believe it was possible to change.
You see I had become a slave to my thoughts, and compulsive behaviour.
However I have my life back. Am now married. And have reconciled with my adult children and built a better life for myself.
Take care. Be well.
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By spys - Tuesday, October 07, 2008
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it's an brave story.
i'm very new to the site and just wanted to post some support and kind wishes.
it's amazing how lonley you can feel when there's no one to talk to about this stuff. it's such a waste of time..it's crazy
i'm hoping you stay strong and true do yourself and family mate.
you've inspired me to come forward just one step
cheers
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