I have been separated now for about 3 months.
I think have been a reasonable father. I have provided well for my family. Put my step daughter through private school and my son has just started high school also at private school. I have been away on many of his school camps,been at most of his other activities include taken him away on camping trips just us boy on a number of occasions.
When I met my wife I already owned my house and had a reasonable superannuation policy. At this stage my wife thinks I should walk away with barely a deposit on a house and take mostly superannuation. But we haven’t even got to dealing with property yet.. We are arguing over custody and it appears to get worse for me each day. If I was given equal shared custody and split the assets down the middle I would be over the moon and do everything in my power to make things work.
When we first separated my son was happy to spend time with both of us but now due to all the arguing I am seen as the aggressor and hewill hardly even talk to me. My wife started the solicitor game come home telling me haw it was going to be and how she was entitled to everything. So nowthings have blown out and I don’t know exactly but I am guessing we have spent 15k each + on solicitors already and have not even got to mediation yet.
All I wanted was a fair go. But now it appears I am fighting a losing battle . If I had been given equal shared custody and equal split of the assets I would have be happy and would go out of my way to make things work. But that now seems to be so far out of reach.
Both my wife and I are stressed out on the edge of nervous breakdowns and I believe the family law has much to answer for in relation to this.. I think the family laws have to become much more proactive and provide much clearer direction. It was not until I spoke with the 3rd solicitor at $400-450 per hour that I was even given any indication of what to could happen. The first one was much more interested intelling me the entire fee structure than giving me any advice. It appears there is no clear set guidelines onthings should go. In it appears that for the most part the more money you have to spend on a solicitor the better outcome you will get. For lower and middle income families this leads to destruction. Working class people that earn $15-40/hourpaying a solicitor $450 + expenses. This money would be much better spent actually providing for the children than be eaten up the feeding frendzie of the law fraternity.
When is family law going to get proactive?
It is my opinion that Custody should be assumed in this dayand age of equal opportunity to be equally and shared unless there is a mutual agreementor legitimate reason to do otherwise. Where there is a history of violence or otherlegitimate reason by all means let the judge decide.
The fact the at the custody agreement also affects the asset split also provide more grief. There needs to be clear guidelines on the splitting of assets and how the assets prior to a marriage or relationship affect that.