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Hi,
I am glad I came across this and I have a question and really need some help!
I have been married for almost 2 years now. My husband and I are great friends. We have had alot of 'drama' in our marriage straight away with family, relocated, finances etc. Everything all at once! This does add extra pressure but my husband blames he lack of sex drive on this. If we argue we never have make up sex. Sex seems to be a very minimal act and after 2 years I feel like a stranger when it comes to sex with my husband.
Men are usually crazy about it and well, he just is not.
I am not sure what to do, I feel like I live with my best friend but not a husband/lover.
What do we do? We are young and have sex at the most twice a month!
Caz
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Post #77
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Monday, July 14, 2008
Posts: 1,
Visits: 9
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This reminds me of my 7 year marriage that of 3 days
ago he said he doesn t want to go to councelling he wants a divorce. it all started when the sex tailed off. Maybe if we had gone to relationships australia then it may have not ended this way
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Post #599
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Sunday, March 29, 2009
Posts: 4,
Visits: 147
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i think if you haven't discussed this with him
may be you need to find some one who can accomadate your needs
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Post #897
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Friday, January 30, 2009
Posts: 3,
Visits: 13
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Dazza, I don't think that's quite the response Caz was looking for. A bit too early in the marriage for sex buddies I'd say.
Back to your problem Caz (I knpow you posted a while ago). Did your husband have a low sex drive before you got married or only after? Stress can play a big part if there is something going on at work or other pressures of home (financial for example). You say you were great friends but great friends don't always make for a great sexual long term (married) relationship.
I'm talking from experience as I have been married for 13 years but with my partner for about 18 in total. Great friends and had a lot in common but I was never really that sexual and affectionate with her. Don't get wrong, when we had sex it was great but I always lacked that spontinatety. When we had kids it got worse and now we are seperated. But, coupled with that I always thought my wife didn't want to be told "get ypur cloths off woman" - how wrong I was!
Talk to him and ask him why he has a low sex drive. Please try and get him to be honest with you whatever the reason. There is no point going deeper into marriage if he is just not into you sexually or has a problem that he won't address. Don't kid yourself it will get better or it doesn't really matter. Without sex (for most of us) you end up getting frustrated and angry which will have a snowball effect on your marriage.
I think you are a strong person to recognise there is a problem and ask for help. Oh, talking of help don't rule out a psychologist either. I wish I had gone to see one years ago.
Good luck.
Edited: Friday, January 30, 2009 by
Grant
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Post #920
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Posts: 6,
Visits: 12
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Anonymous (6/21/2007)
Hi,
I am glad I came across this and I have a question and really need some help!
I have been married for almost 2 years now. My husband and I are great friends. We have had alot of 'drama' in our marriage straight away with family, relocated, finances etc. Everything all at once! This does add extra pressure but my husband blames he lack of sex drive on this. .......
Listen to what he's saying. He may be still worrying about stuff and stress is a libido suppressor. If and when he feels that the nest is not under threat his sparkle will come back
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Post #933
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Posts: 13,
Visits: 14
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I agree with the other writers (except Dazza who wants you to go off and find a sex partner - that would be stupid and destructive). You can't ignore this problem and must find a skilled counsellor to help you come to terms with the real issues. This is essential for both your happiness and his.
Also, look to yourself, are you still the same girl he first fell in love with? What has changed about you? What is different?
Try to get back to the point of original attraction and work from there. Dwell on the positives. Hang in there and help him come to terms with his issues.
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Post #1014
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